


Getting Paid

by embarrassing old stuff from LJ pre-2015 (prevaricator)



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Complete crack, M/M, Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-11
Updated: 2010-01-11
Packaged: 2018-10-15 19:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prevaricator/pseuds/embarrassing%20old%20stuff%20from%20LJ%20pre-2015
Summary: Ohkura's grounds for choosing the new guy are definitely not legit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from LJ

I wasn't even planning on fessing up to this, but then I realized just how long it's been since I've written anything. I think this journal is getting lonely.

 **Getting Paid**  
Ohkura/Shige (with appearances by various members of Kanjani 8  
PG-13 for swearing and things you shouldn't do at work, crack, 1959 words  
warnings: sexual harassment, complete crack  
Office AU  
summary: Ohkura's grounds for choosing the new guy are definitely not legit.

  
AN: Written for the anonmeme [here](http://jenewyear.livejournal.com/337.html?thread=83793#t83793). I know the meme's still going, just wanted to get this off my chest. Or something. I switched the wording on the few things and edited an error. Oh, and I do not condone sexual harassment irl. No means no, stop means stop.And hiring based on looks is stupid. That said, this fic is obviously not reality.

Ohkura was awoken from a pleasant dream about boobs by a sharp jab in his side. He jumped a bit, then turned to glare at the offender, only to find the head of human resources, Murakami Shingo, glaring back at him.

"We're in the middle of an _interview_ ," Murakami said.

"I _know_!" Ohkura pouted in response.

The interviewee looked from one to the other, wearing an expression that was somewhere between nervous and confused.

Ohkura paused to look at him. He wondered how long he'd been out, because he didn't recognize this guy at all.

Oh, well. He was pretty fug, anyway. Ohkura checked the appointment schedule and mentally crossed Tanabe off the list of applicants. He wasn't in charge of hiring, but Murakami would give in if he whined about it enough.

That was how he'd gotten himself into the interviews in the first place- normally hiring was left entirely up to human resources, but Ohkura had whined that since _he_ would be working in close contact with the new person, he should be allowed to pick.

He'd had no idea at the time how boring these interviews were. This was the fifth one of the day; the opening needed to be filled ASAP.

"Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Tanabe. We'll call you within a week to let you know our decision."

Tanabe left.

"That one's a no," Ohkura said.

Murakami glared at him, "You're just saying that because he's ugly."

"How'd you guess?"

"You really need to stop that. That guy is the most qualified candidate we've had for the job so far."

"No, that would totally be that Kagawa chick." Ohkura had nearly had a nosebleed at the size of her rack.

Murakami put his head in his hands. "She flunked out of high school! We're looking for college graduates here, Tacchon."

"Hey, I'm going to have to see this person all day, every day. It better not be someone fug," Ohkura whined.

There was a light knock on the door, and the secretary walked in. "Your next appointment is here, Hina," he said.

"Thanks, Yasu. You can let him in," Hina said. Ohkura tried not to shudder.

"This is the last one," Hina muttered to him. "Then we have to make a decision."

Ohkura was busy envisioning himself doomed to working with an ugly person for the rest of his career. He'd continue to be forced to look to other departments as fuel for his wet dreams.

Then Yasuda bounced back in, "This one's called Kato Shigeaki!"

In walked a tallish, slim man with broad shoulders and a face that could get him a job _modeling_. Ohkura instantly approved.

Sure, the guy's hair was horrible, and he looked like he had a huge stick up his ass. But a haircut would help the former, and the latter would make him insanely fun to tease.

He zoned out through the interview, only barely taking note of Kato's conversation with Hina. He'd just graduated summa cum laude from Aoyama, he'd had a job lined up at a large company before he even graduated, but it had been bought out before he started working, blah blah blah.

When he left, Ohkura turned to Murakami and said, "I'll take that one. He's more entertaining than Kagawa."

Kagawa looked like she would've been perfectly happy to let Ohkura feel up her breasts whenever he pleased. Where was the fun in that?

"Finally, we agree on someone," Hina looked relieved. "Though I do wonder about the criteria you're using to decide."

"Did you _see_ the ass on that guy?"

"That's what I thought," Hina said, massaging his temples. "But he's actually the best candidate we've got, so I've got no objections. Just please, please _please_ don't get us into a sexual harassment suit!"

 

 

Kato Shigeaki started work at Kanjani, Inc. the next week.

The first thing Ohkura did was piss him off by immediately deciding to call him Shige, without even bothering with honorifics.

Shige glowered a bit. It was horrendously cute.

Ohkura took him around the office, introducing him to the people he'd be working with. He started with their boss.

"This is Ryo-chan, he's your boss."

"Nice to meet you," Shige said, executing a bow that Ohkura suspected was the exact degree required by protocol.

Not that he'd know. Protocol, shmotocol.

"You need a haircut," Ryo snapped at Shige.

"E-excuse me?" Shige looked confused, and slightly terrified.

 _Tokyo boy_ , Ohkura thought. People from Tokyo were always incapable of understanding that Ryo-chan's sharp comments were really his way of showing approval.

Ryo flashed him a thumbs up behind Shige's back as they left.

"Nice ass on that one," he said later, when Ohkura brought some files to his office. "He really needs a haircut, though."

Probably the only reason Ohkura hadn't gotten himself fired within a month of working at Kanjani, Inc. was that his boss was a total gossip monger. It gave him incentive to actually hand in reports.

 

Two weeks in, Shige knew all the requirements of his job better than Ohkura ever had.

"Ohkura-san, have you done that report yet?" Shige asked through Ohkura's cubicle door one day.

"I'm almost done," Ohkura replied.

Shige grimaced. "It was due _yesterday_."

"Yes, mom."

Sadly, Shige was too polite to say anything more than that, which meant he removed himself from Ohkura's cubicle before Ohkura could properly memorize exactly what his clothing looked like.

He sighed. It would take a little longer to fully develop his fantasy about bending Shige over the copy machine.

Three hours later, Ohkura was bored. He'd already taken his post-lunch nap, and had actually finished the report that was due yesterday. Normally he was at least a week late on things. Shige wasn't good for him, he decided.

"Hey, Shige," he said, standing up and leaning over the cubicle wall. "Wanna go out for drinks tonight, and maybe breakfast tomorrow morning?"

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Shige glared, "No. And stop leaning over my wall, it gives me the creeps."

"I'd like to lean _you_ over the wall," Ohkura made a thoughtful face. "I wonder if these walls could take that kind of strain..."

Shige's eyebrow twitched.

"Would you please get back to work? And stop harassing me?"

"Ooh, are you begging?" Ohkura leered.

Shige banged his head against his desk. "Maybe I'm threatening to sue you for sexual harassment."

"You? You're a guy. They'd laugh you out of court."

Shige massaged his temples.

Just then, Ryo walked by on his way back from a meeting. From his exasperated expression, it was probably a meeting with his boss, Shibutani.

"Tacchon, could you at least pretend to be working? And Shige, for the tenth time, get a haircut," Ryo said.

"But Ryo-chan! Those reports are so _boring_. And nobody cares about them!"

"As I recall, Tacchon, you're being paid to do the reports, not harass Shige."

It must have been a bad meeting, Ohkura thought.

 

The next day, Shige walked in with a fauxhawk. It didn't seem to match his character at all, but it was fucking _hot_.

Really, Ohkura pondered, there was probably some kind of causal relationship there.

Shige looked nervous and uncomfortable with his new hairstyle. It made Ohkura want to pin him against his desk and do all sorts of things to him.

As a matter of fact, it _really_ made Ohkura want to pin him against his desk. So he came up with a plan.

He sat around all day, doing nothing. It wasn't hard, since that was what he normally did, but he did even more of it than usual. He took an extra-long post-lunch nap (he'd need the energy for later, anyway).

He also made sure to pester Shige a lot, and kept him from getting any work done.

It was pretty easy- Shige needed the reports Ohkura wasn't working on before he could do anything. Ohkura made sure to ask him to do all sorts of ridiculous things, anyway.

"Shiiiigeeeeee, can you go get me more staples?" He asked. "My stapler's out."

"Will you actually get those reports done?" Shige asked.

"I'll try. But they're really hard, Shige."

Shige glowered, but left for the staples anyway.

Ten minutes later, Ohkura leaned over his wall again.

"Shiiiiigeeeeee, what does rescind mean?"

Shige's eyebrow twitched. "To take back or cancel. You've been working here _how long_ , and you still don't know that?"

Ohkura threw him a pout, hoping it wasn't obviously fake. Of course he knew what rescind meant, he used it about three times a report. It was one of those big words he'd throw in to make it sound like he actually put some effort into things.

By the time everyone else was leaving, Ohkura and Shige had at least two hours' worth of overtime stacked up. Normally Ohkura would just leave it until the next day, but he had ulterior motives.

An hour after everyone else had left, he handed over some data Shige needed.

Ten minutes after that, Shige walked into his cubicle. "This data makes no sense. You had Excel do percentages instead of simple addition. And can you at least _try_ to use spell check?"

Shige seemed to be adapting to the impoliteness that abounded in the mostly-Osakan-run company, though Ohkura thought he'd heard Shige mutter something about why all these crazy Osakans were working in Tokyo, anyway.

He was still way too uptight, though.

"Oh, sorry. Here, let me fix that."

Ohkura opened the file and spent ten minutes tapping idly at his keyboard, then leaned over the wall again.

"Shige, can you help me with this? I keep trying to get Excel to add, but it's dividing instead."

Shige sighed. "How did you even graduate college? No, please don't answer that, I don't think I want to know."

He stalked into Ohkura's cubicle and bent over to look at his computer. Ohkura admired the way the fabric pulled over Shige's backside while Shige clicked away.

Then Shige straightened up and whipped around. "There is nothing wrong with Excel! It's adding just fine! What the _fuck_ is wrong with you!?"

Ohkura paused for a moment to ponder that Shige used Kansai-ben when he was mad. Either the company was rubbing off on him, or the little Tokyo boy wasn't as Tokyo as he'd thought.

Then he went back to focus on the issue at hand; Shige was _hot_ when he was mad, and the fauxhawk just intensified it all.

He cut Shige off in the middle of a rant with a long, filthy kiss. Shige struggled at first, but gave up faster than Ohkura expected. He was a little disappointed, but stopped caring very quickly.

He slipped his hands down to palm Shige's ass and pull him up against Ohkura's body. Shige moaned, then whined as Ohkura's mouth left his and went to a spot behind his ear, sucking away with every intention of leaving a mark.

Ohkura had to smother a snicker at the thought that Shige's hair was too short to cover it, now.

He was tempted to keep going, and maybe find out if the cubicle walls really could handle that kind of strain, but that wasn't part of his plan. Some things, he knew, were much better when they were given time to build up.

Besides, he really wanted Shige to beg him.

So he detached himself from Shige, and said, "We should really get back to work, shouldn't we? I'm going to go get some files from Ryo's office."

He gave Shige's ass one final pat and walked out, leaving Shige flustered and out of breath in Ohkura's cubicle.

 

 


End file.
